Jobs, Crowns, Drugs (the legal ones) and Passing Out

Christmas is in 2 days. I now have a job. I now own my own car. And I am an almost 1 week college veteran. I'm livin' the good life. Today I was announced in the youth group as now working for the church. The kids (especially the girls) screamed so loud that my parents in a classroom downstairs heard! Good stuff. I'm really excited to see what God does with my time here in VA. I feel like it's going to be awesome and that He is preparing me for something really challenging. I don't know what that may be, but I have a strong feeling that it will be doing something in missions in another country. Preferably in South America somewhere. Ever since I was a little kid I've always felt that I would be a missionary one day. I guess you could say that I felt called to that when I was in middle school or sometime around then. But we'll see. I know whatever it is I'll be doing, I'll love it. I love where I'm at right now though! This is just the beginning of the newest chapter in my book. I don't know how long this one's going to be, but it had better have some crazy adventures that almost get me killed or something cause those are the best!
So yesterday I had a crown put on my tooth because last Fall I went cliff jumping and cracked my tooth. Unfortunate. At least it was an awesome jump and from the 60 ft cliff! So today I could feel my heartbeat in my tooth the crown had been put on, so I decided to take some meds for it. Well apparently my body didn't like my choice of drugs. I was doing some paperwork for my new job and out of nowhere I got extremely dizzy and hot. So I stepped outside in my feety pj's with rocket ships and glow-in-the-dark stars on them to try and cool off. Well that didn't really do any good so I came back in and headed for my bedroom. I almost collapsed on the floor in the hallway. If I would've had to walk much farther I'm pretty positive I would've passed out. But after a couple hours the dizziness, shakes, and hot fits went away. I guess that was a sign that I should lay off the drugs.

Bittersweet Ending

It's here. In a little less than 6 hours I will be graduating from college. Wow. I can't believe college is over. It's so bittersweet. It's really exciting to be going into this new place in my journey, but it's so sad to be leaving Nashville and the people I love. This has been the best time of my life. God has done so much in these last 4 months. I'm so glad that in the beginning I didn't listen to my own fears and not return to Nashville this semester. By sucking it up and pushing through, God blessed me so much. In the midst of all of my confusion in my first week back God just kept showing me how faithful He is over and over. One day I was only wanting to go home to Virginia and I opened my Bible to this passage, Hebrews 10:36 "You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised."
So I decided to keep in trucking and guess what? God totally blessed me with a million more things than I could have ever imagined. So yeah, leaving sucks, but I'm leaving on a great note. It was a great semester. The best I've ever had. The best roommates I could have ever asked for. The best friends I could have asked for. Just so many "best" things!
I'm pretty sure that crying will happen tonight. Unfortunately. I feel like I've been on an emotional roller coaster these past few days. Lame sauce. It's okay though. It happens to the best of us.
So now I am going to return to packing. Loads of fun. Until next time, when I will be a "real" adult with a college degree. Hahaha yeah right, I'll never be a "real" adult.

Peter Pan and Graduation

Wow it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything here. I got busy and lazy and just wrote my stories down in ym journal instead of sharing them here. These last 6 or 7 months have been insane. God has done so much! I have been at the very bottom and at the very top. I’ve learned so much through the last little bit of this year. It’s been hard but good, dumb but awesome. I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. I promise my later blogs will not be as serious or as boring as this one! I just need to get this one out of my system.
I never want to become a person that doesn’t love to live, and love to live as I am. I want to live on the edge and never know what’s going to happen next, and be okay with that. God has given me so much, and given me so much opportunity. I need to use that and live by that grace He’s given me. My life should be a daring adventure, or nothing. I don’t want to feel like I have to become really mature now that I’m graduating college. I still want to be an idiot and say dumb things and do even dumber things. Why is that frowned upon in society? Yeah, I’ll be responsible and mature when I need to be. My mom and dad taught me to be all of that, and they taught it well. But I feel as if I need this outlet to act as if I have no worries or cares because if I don’t act like what I am feeling inside, then I’m going to explode. I feel like I should be a wanderer. I could be a beach bum that lives on the beach and showers in the public showers. I think I could do that and be okay with that. It would work itself out. No worries. There it is again, no worries. I want to live with no worries or cares (without the use of illegal things to make me feel that way of course) but at the same time I feel as if I have so many cares that I am still going to explode. I try and take the world on for everyone else sometimes. And I love that, I love being needed and wanted by people, but I have to come to the realization that it isn’t my job to do that for them. That is Christ’s desire, to care for them and guide them. I’m just here to encourage and love and show Christ’s love through my words and actions, which I know I need to work on. I never want to grow up. Can I just be Peter Pan?? Please. Life would be perfect. Just me, ridiculousness, the life of a kid, and Jesus. Seriously, can it get any better than that? Plus, flying if I’m really going to be living the Pan life. Graduation, don’t come yet. I’m scared of you and what you mean and stand for. What the world expects of me now. I am insanely excited about your arrival though I must say. You are the last page of my college chapter in this book. My next chapter begins in 1 week exactly. I don’t even know the title of it yet. That’s okay though. I don’t know if I want to know the title yet. Maybe not even until I’m 80 should I know the title. Oh life and growing up and moving and mature-ness. Why do you all have to come at once? Why can’t you just come at random times? I know that it wouldn’t be as exciting or make as much sense if you were scattered around in my life, but it would be easier. As the really annoying saying goes, that’s life I guess.